The Importance of person-centred support and not giving up
Debra has called Durham home for most of her life. Her story is one of quiet endurance, a lifetime marked by instability, yet defined by resilience and the unwavering support of those who refused to give up on her.
From an early age, Debra faced systemic barriers that few could imagine. She aged out of care as a teenager, carrying the weight of an unstable childhood and the trauma of abuse. By 17, she was a young mother, navigating a world that often seemed set against her. Years later, escaping domestic violence left her alone again, grieving the loss of custody of her children and trying to survive cycles of instability, substance use, and declining health.
When her mobility began to deteriorate, stable housing became nearly impossible to maintain. She cycled through hospitals and shelters, including multiple stays at Doors of Compassion. Each time she returned, she carried both the weariness of starting over and a flicker of hope that someone still cared.
That care came through the steady presence of DOC’s staff, women like Claire, Victoria, Esther, Pauline, and Marla, who met Debra with compassion, not judgment. “I was angry,” Debra says. “But CFOC gave me strength. These women made me strong.”
Through years of advocacy and support, DOC staff helped Debra navigate ODSP applications, secure COHB funding, and access last month’s rent through community partners like CDCD. Even after housing was secured, the team continued to stand beside her, supporting her through landlord challenges, health crises, and appeals before the Landlord and Tenant Board. “It feels good not to be given up on,” she reflects. “I thought I was going to end up in jail if I gave up.”
Today, Debra has been stably housed for several years. “I love it,” she says. “I can step out into the circus and step away, I don’t have to bring it home with me.” Her home has become more than shelter; it’s a sanctuary where she can rest, heal, and be herself.
Reconciliation with her children has been another powerful chapter. “It was the best thing that could have ever happened,” she shares. “I wish I had tried sooner. My grandson just turned 18, he’s identical to me, strong.” Though her mobility limits how much time she can spend with them, she finds peace knowing they are back in her life.
When asked what she would tell others facing long-term homelessness, Debra doesn’t hesitate. “Put the pipe down. It’s not fun being homeless. I’ll never let myself be in that situation again.”
Her message to her younger self is just as powerful: “The only person you can help is you. Go to organizations, they are here to help you. I would have been lost without all those people.”
Debra’s journey is a living reminder that transformation takes time, persistence, and community. For her, stability didn’t come from one breakthrough moment, it came from a team that refused to let go, and from her own courage to keep trying, again and again.